Okay, i have t say. This is scary. I have sudden mood change. Seriously, sudden.
I was just thinking about crush not long ago & suddenly, i started t miss you. Yes, You.
Goodness, i have so much t say, i dont know how t say it.

Do you know, I cant let go.
I really cant. After all we've gone through,
Be it said or done, i just cant let go. Seriously.
Do you know how much i want t see you whenever i step into & even out of school?
& how i always go blank & speechless whenever i see you?
I remember, just last week, i was talking t one of my friends (forgot who).
& when i saw you, my mind went blank. Totally blank.
I stared at you walk away, till i really couldnt see a tiny bit of you. I couldnt take my eyes off you.
& when i saw you, i couldnt continue talking, i started t mumble, I couldnt say a word.
My friend called me & tried t get my attention many times, but she failed t.
& when i totally couldnt see you, i went "huh? omg, sorry. what was i saying? what's going on ah?"
You drive me crazy you see.

Everytime th clock strikes 2, i walk out of class,
Hoping i could see you. Even if it was just that split second. I'm contented.
I check my phone every 5-10 minutes, to see if you'll msg or call me.

I'm still not used to this.
I'm not used t not having you by my side. I need you here.
I doubt i'll get over you.
I feel so ashamed of myself.
I'm so weak, so useless, i cry over every little thing you say.
& yet you still loved me,
Loved me like nobody could.

Omfgsxz. What's th bloody damn problem w me.
I want you t move on.
But yet i still tell you that i miss you, i love you & that i want you back.
& i'm still crying myself t sleep every night.
What th fuck in th world am i doing mansxz?
Shit you Elthea. Stop thinking of her. She aint yours no more. Wake up.
Friends, you gotta remind me whenever i see her. Just slap me in th face.
I cant be going crazy whenever i see her. I deserve this anyw.
Tell me, HELLO?! YOU SHOULDNT BE THINKING OF HER. FREAKING GET HER OUTTA YOUR MIND.

Oh yes, that's it, i'm gonna let you go. I'm gonna have t do it.
& when i said that, i really mean it. I'll force myself t.
I'll control. It cant go on this way or i'll just lose control & go crazy.
I really meant what i just said, i'm fucking gonna let you go.
I'll hold on t you no more. It ends tonight. Everything. What we've said & done, everything.
I wont talk to you anymore. I'm gonna have t avoid you.
& i wont react whenever i see you.
I'm not gonna let you know how i feel, & what i want t say.
I wont let you know how i still want you back with me,
how much i miss you & love you, & need you back here.

Till then.